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When Love first turned me around

I sit here and wonder

 how you could Love me so

As you stir both my shame and hero.

      This is why you alone can say…”Hang on.”

I buckle and bend beneath this weight.

I know this fallen place…and here I’d stay…

       but I am served and survived by Your fate.

      This is why You alone can deliver me.

You left your kids in confidence one day to run and play

and then came home to find them dying. 

       How I must remind you of them at times.

      And still you say, “I´ll make it right.”

Abba, Your discipline is truly deep…

deep enough to traverse the coming wrath.

       This is why you alone can say, “I´m coming.”

I did not come here for forgiveness

and yet it is given all the same.

       It seems even a fool can learn to trust again when

You alone say ,”Hang on”

because You alone are tried and triumph

    In these moments God

             I ask               

as a dying man should…

Can I go back to when I first called out Your name?

Can you help me remember

         when Your Love first turned me around?

I wish to be free of my own judgement

as I am free in Yours.

I want who I was to die…

over and over  

so I can live forever again..

I wish to rely upon You

      as The only one who can say, “Hang on.”

Your boy cried blood for You to come to His side in that garden

and You knew

“another garden”

a horrible intimate. 

Those red tears surely remembered the Eden treason

But you filled Him in that place

You alone said, “Almost there.” 

I love You more than anything,

but my heart splinters on.

And as priceless grace is cheaply wafted

 in a place where my affections should bow and revere

I still stubbornly wait, falling, standing, and trying to remember…

You alone are how the story ends.

My heart has been recovering ever since I began to use it

and I wish I could just give it back

for I still hang on to what I will,

 and I am ever dying.

And as promises and pleas from all those around me

give me ever remedy under the sun…except the Son…

I remember the first time Love turned me around.

You alone whispered, “Hang on

You alone screamed war above and below me

as you still shout,

Hang on.

And You alone Father are what to hold on to.

You cried out in doubt,

ever faithful,

Lord, Lord, why have you forsaken me?”

Even as You broke

and could bare no more

You still cried out 

“Lord.”

Your heart never gave up.

You remembered the first time Love turned you around

and you cried out

“Lord.”

Help me do the same.

I feel it now…   

For a moment

I am home

when Love first turned me around.

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About justingunter

I'm recently 29 years old, recently married and ready to change the world for God. He has called me to be a missionary! This means more than just changing zip codes and living in countries where I struggle (for a while) speaking the language the locals dream in. It means a lifestyle of sacrifice, audacious Hope and above all, a desire for Jesus simply because He is who He is. I moved to Franklin, TN in October 15th of 2012 and expect this to be the first of many changes for the great calling on the Gunter's life. Side note...I dig being married. It helps when you're married the best woman ever! Teale and I feel called to plant churches, combat sex trafficking and be a place of refuge and Holy sojourn to all who would seek to join alongside us for good or for a season. For now, Ol' Rocky Top is our home, Zoey is our Great Dane and we, the Gunters, love Jesus with all we have.

4 responses »

  1. Katie Harrington

    ahhh. the words from a trusted friend.. It is amazing to think back to the time when first meeting God and how at peace we were and none of the experiences that we have gone through had happened yet. Still today we have someone who loves us unconditionally no matter how we live our lives. There are things that I wish that I have come into contact with that would not have happened for whatever reason. However Love did turn me around at that time and that place…

    Lord I pray that your love continually turns us around and focuses on you and you alone. Keep all those who may not know you or are having trouble knowing you safe in your arms. I pray as my friend leaves for a trip overseas that you protect him and guide him back safely to all those who love and care about him so deeply.. amen

    Reply
  2. Did you write this? It’s poetically honest and beautiful…

    Chels.

    “I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.” Romans *:38-39 (THE MESSAGE)

    *Romans 8* Duet. 6:5* Duet. 7:9* Psalm 9:10* Psalm 11:7* Psalm 13:5* Psalm 20:7* Psalm 25:7*Psalm 28:7* Psalm 31:7* Psalm 32:1* Psalm 36* Psalm 37:4-6* Psalm 44:5-7* Psalm 56:3* Psalm 86* Psalm 91:1-2* Psalm 136* Proverbs 3:5* Proverbs 10:12* John 3:16* 1 Cor. 8:3* 1 Cor. 13* Gal 2:20* Eph. 1:7-8* Hebrews 10* 2 Tim 2:22* 1 John 3:1* 1 John 4:8* 1 John 3:16* 1 John 4:12* 1 John 4:16-18* *Isaiah 26:4* Isaiah 40:28-31*

    Reply
  3. The cry of my heart, put to words…

    Reply
  4. Katie Harrington

    yep another comment from me.. This week in Spiritual Formation we got to read the section from the book about Relational Spirituality and your poem came to mind when I was reading about God’s love for us and how immense it truly is.. Powerful..

    Reply

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