I sit here and wonder
how you could Love me so
As you stir both my shame and hero.
This is why you alone can say…”Hang on.”
I buckle and bend beneath this weight.
I know this fallen place…and here I’d stay…
but I am served and survived by Your fate.
This is why You alone can deliver me.
You left your kids in confidence one day to run and play
and then came home to find them dying.
How I must remind you of them at times.
And still you say, “I´ll make it right.”
Abba, Your discipline is truly deep…
deep enough to traverse the coming wrath.
This is why you alone can say, “I´m coming.”
I did not come here for forgiveness
and yet it is given all the same.
It seems even a fool can learn to trust again when
You alone say ,”Hang on”
because You alone are tried and triumph
In these moments God
as a dying man should…
Can I go back to when I first called out Your name?
Can you help me remember
when Your Love first turned me around?
I wish to be free of my own judgement
as I am free in Yours.
I want who I was to die…
over and over
so I can live forever again..
I wish to rely upon You
as The only one who can say, “Hang on.”
Your boy cried blood for You to come to His side in that garden
and You knew
a horrible intimate.
Those red tears surely remembered the Eden treason
But you filled Him in that place
You alone said, “Almost there.”
I love You more than anything,
but my heart splinters on.
And as priceless grace is cheaply wafted
in a place where my affections should bow and revere
I still stubbornly wait, falling, standing, and trying to remember…
You alone are how the story ends.
My heart has been recovering ever since I began to use it
and I wish I could just give it back
for I still hang on to what I will,
and I am ever dying.
And as promises and pleas from all those around me
give me ever remedy under the sun…except the Son…
I remember the first time Love turned me around.
You alone whispered, “Hang on“
You alone screamed war above and below me
as you still shout,
And You alone Father are what to hold on to.
You cried out in doubt,
“Lord, Lord, why have you forsaken me?”
Even as You broke
and could bare no more
You still cried out
Your heart never gave up.
You remembered the first time Love turned you around
and you cried out
Help me do the same.
I feel it now…
For a moment
I am home
when Love first turned me around.