I am always leaving…
You do not.
You will not.
I am always leaving
But You, God of the Angel-Armies, You do not leave us!
You will not leave us.
It is ever my delight
to wander toward You,
You the Promise.
I remember how first You first wooed and lulled me in deep.
And it is ever my joy to learn how to live in light of such a gift as You.
My heart struts and sings where I would break my body endlessly to follow.
To the place where I want nothing but You.
My heart twists in its old flames.
It writhes in yesterday´s affections
But in you Lord,
my heart is made capable.
´Tis made calm.
In You God,
The One who will not leave us,
Life is found and Given.
My heart weeps
loud as a war-drum.
It lifts its surrendered hands high,
calls you Father,
God of the Angel-Armies,
My heart has been restored.
I know now
I am found in You,
and nothing can ever be the same.
My heart remembers and grins
As I think of the God who will not leave me…
The God I cannot leave.
I sit in untouchable peace in You,
only quarried by my own doubt.
In You Lord, I am driven to Peace,
hurried to Hope,
for You are The Father I cannot escape or hide from…
No matter how hard I try.
I am always leaving…
But You, Star-placer,
You are greater than my fears,
greater than my mistakes,
greater still than me.
If You had a weakness Oh Lord,
it would stomp out my challenging strength
with all the ease of emptying Your pockets.
to not grow weary… not at all,
not of me.
You rescue me,
and rescue me,
and then do something Beautiful and fierce,
You rescue me.
You re- rescue me even from myself,
every morning the pillow pushes me away.
You hunt me.
You dangerously search for me,
shouting forgiveness and Truth over whatever wandered distance,
down whatever transgressed trail,
through whatever darkness,
and You pull me back to shore.
You catch me,
dress me for war,
tug on my ears and ruffle my hair
just to remind me not to take myself too seriously,
which is among the greatest weapons I learn to wield.
You make me free.
You will me back to you,
directing my Prodigal steps,
and then You make me, all over again…
Remember the fight and Love between wretch and Victory.
You brand me more than found,
More than a man,
More than a prince,
More than even a son…
For You call me,
For that famous claim,
For that undeserved reach into pitch black,
after little ol me,
Where you stole me from fallen…
That is where I always remember I once was,
Where You chose to go.
That is where I send Satan´s gift-wrapped death,
Which he marks
Awaken before it´s time.
I send it to You…
Before Your throne,
Before Your voice…
from that place I draw Your strength in,
I find myself startlingly brave when I am in Your Light.
With you Lord, there is no Spirit of fear.
With You, there is no sinking sand where there is staff-split water.
With You, there is no record of wrongs
that were drowned in Your sea of forgetfulness.
With You, there is no hint of darkness and defeat
in such marvelous Light as You.
With You, fear has no control in dens where Lions are made into puppies.
With You, despair has no power
where thunder and Voices alive swallow up the air.
With You, odds cannot overwhelm,
not when you charge strong
with wild-eyed, war-ready Angels at your back.
With You, undefeated, war-tested Giants
bow before Your conquering kid…
How you must laugh,
A boy-King, ruling men!
With You, we see a miracle,
a defeated ancestor of the mighty Nephilim,
and of all places,
beneath Your boy´s little feet.
His fallen head severed and staked as memorial
so that all would know,
there is but one God,
and he does not share power.
I am always leaving.
But you are not.
You will not.
as strong as the promise of Heaven…
Believing that when everything else fails us
this is still how we are held,
We quiet our efforts,
our reaching hearts,
and learn to remember
and belief once again,
that You are God,
the Intimate One…
of nooks, crannies and cosmos.
And You, will not leave us.